I’m discovering that I have to find another way around finding time and energy to write, and still earn enough money to live like everyone else. To do that I need to train and do something else that will earn me more money than I’m earning now. So I’m training to be a programmer – focusing initially on java programming.
Someone asked me why programming. This is how I answered. Being an actor appeals to the playful side in me. I’m ‘resting’ right now finding the British film and TV industry both limited and limiting. Office work appeals to the stationery fetish and organizing OCD side in me and programming would appeal to the geeky techy side in me.
I realized when designing websites on Dreamweaver that I have a geeky side that gets a bit OCD about creating something, finding the most efficient way to do something and fixing a problem.
What is it that I want to achieve?
To experience something new – which is great when you’re a writer – the more experience you have, the more you can write about and for me new experiences are what keeps life fresh and exciting.
But mostly, to earn more means that I can take time off if I want to and this hopefully will give me more energy to write. Energy – that’s what I don’t have enough of.
Funnily enough, ever since I decided to take this step, my energy level has increased. I think it’s psychological – it’s not because I’m eating or exercising more – I think it’s because for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel that this rut is here to stay, that I may not be doing exactly what I want (earn money writing novels), I can try get there another way.
Sometimes, especially when you get to your thirties, you’re probably experienced and paid well in a particular job that you found yourself doing for years – then you decide to pursue something different. Unless you want to live like a student again, the transition from old job to new job may require a balancing act of accepting what you have and how to make it happen. This is where I am and have been – trying to find a bridge from one to another.
Are you finding it difficult to pursue your dreams?
What’s in the way?
Can you see a path around it or a bridge over it?